14 to 17 Years Old

Chapter 1 It was 1986, Sydney, Australia in the northern west part, Dundas Valley, I was just 14 years old. I knew I was strange, not right, a freak, poofter, faggot. I loved wearing female clothes. Since the age of 6 or 7 i knew i was not right, as far as the society in those times thought and was told by the media. This did not stop me, dressing up, and being myself, back then, I was eventually given the name Candie, by the person i fell in love with. At this stage I like to be called Alison. This later changes to Melissa Beartrix Scott. Not Beatrice Bear Trix! By 1986 I had accumulated a largish collection of cute outfits, from Target, kmart and my favourite Supra. It was one of my outings to Supra, that I first met, what i first thought was a young man, he scared the living daylights out of me, as he came up behind me and said, “i bet you would look adorable in this'', holding up a pink,floral dress. After my embarrassment and trying to say I was shopping for my sister, which i did not have a sister. He introduced herself as Jessica, wow i thought in a microsecond, maybe someone else like me. After a bit more shopping, Jessica had talked me into going to McDonalds to get to know each other. I found out she was 16, and so much older than my 14 years. She kept calling me babe or cutie, went to a different high school from me, and lived about a 5 minute walk from my place, we became instant friends, girl friends. After school we would meet up, dress up, play games, go shopping for clothes and other girly things and most importantly have fun. After a couple of weeks, Jessica had talked me into going out dressed as I felt, as a female with her, to the movies, dinner and many other places. The feeling I had when I was dressed up was exhilarating and scary that someone might find out that I was really born a male. But I felt complete, happy, joyful and content, I was a female, stuck in a male body. We did have a few, too many run-ins with narrow minded people, and the abuse, name calling and even pushing and shoving, was disheartening, and upset me to no end. I knew Jessica, who would be dressed in male clothes, would alway protect me, be there and put all the pieces back together afterward. She and I, become very close, she was the girl i had my first sexual experiance with, we knew we did not love each other, we knew we were good, great friends and talked about getting a place together in the future. She wanted a man, a real man. On one occasion when we were making out in Jessica's bedroom her mother just came into the bedroom, without knocking, while we were kissing and fondling. She rolled her eyes, looked at me, and said, “at least you can’t get pregnant and ruin my son's life”, I took that as an ok to keep this up. Jessica's mother then would always thump her feet walking up the hall, and knock on the door, from that day onward. When she would hear Jesscia, say it was ok, all we would do is stop what we were doing, but not move and both of us would just look at her, and find out what she wanted. I think after a while, her mother would be a lot more tolerant, of me being over, us making out in Jesscia bedroom, and ok when we watched TV, with me snuggled up close to Jessica. Jessica’s two older sisters liked me, for me it was like having two older sisters and they had a little sister to help with fashion and make-up. It is a shame that they did not know about Jessica, cross dressing earlier, then the day she got kicked out of her home. We even went shopping all together. It was so much fun for me, and we would catch up with their friends at the shopping center many times, and introduce me as a family friend that was getting on to their brother. Several months later, we were out shopping, in Parramatta. I wanted a bra, padded and to see if we could find something to enhance my non-existent breast. We ended up at a lingerie shop in Parramatta, where a very nice lady helped me find a bra that fitted and some inserts. I am not sure if she initially knew I was a boy dressing as a girl, but when I mentioned it to her, she did not seem shocked or disgusted with me telling her after she told me my breast will grow soon, and that she was as flat as an ironing board till she was 16. I was allowed to wear the bra and inserts, which were a nice b cup, out of the shop. I couldn’t believe how happy I was, and every so often I bounced just to feel them move, and put a tiny bit of pressure on the straps. It felt glorious, girly and by the way Jessica was eye off my breast I felt sexy and adored. I was walking on cloud ten, as cloud nine was not high enough , and wondering if I could get a real breast, and how. And very unusual. I still love wearing a bra, it makes me feel whole, and complete. I understand many females do not like wearing bras. I ended up shopping at this lingerie shop, and everytime i entered the shop, no matter what Vannessa was doing she would alway give me the biggest hugz, and tell me just how cute I was. It was a safe place for me to go to, if trouble occurred, and it did many times, I would head to her shop, it was my safe place, where judgment was not on the cards. Jessica and I, ended up going to the movies and having lunch that day, and acted like girl friend and boy friend, holding hands, hugging and even kissing. Jessica's hand would occasionally brush or rub my breast, and would giggle. Whenever boys and men would just stare at me, checking me out like i was in a meat market, it took a lot to get used to, and would hold Jessica hand tighter when this happened, and she would squeeze back, and tell me that they are all jealous that such a gorgeous girl was taken. Rollerblades were becoming the in thing, and I wanted to get a pair. I had already had a pair of rollerskates, and I was never that good on them, but I wanted to try the rollerblades out. I tried a pair on, and fell straight down on my ass, with my skirt up around my waist, and I was embarrassed to no end, as so many people saw me. Jessica, just leaned down, pushed my skirt down, to make me respectable, then grabbed me by the waist and told me i was such a tart, in my ear. Then she was still holding me close, said, let's get these, and go home. As we were in the line to the check out, one lady said that we were a cute couple, and that Jessica was such a knight in shining armor, and I was so elated, I gave Jessica like a thousand kisses on the cheeks, till it was our turn to get served. That night we had sex, as we had only up to this stage kissed, hand and blow jobs, Jessica had stuck a finger up my ass, and the feeling was sensatinal. We had anal sex, well, all that did is make me want more, and smoked a tonne of pot, my life couldn’t get better, i thought, it couldn’t get worst could it. I was being my true self, Jessica and i were not in love with each other, just good friends and sex freinds. I was still scared to say anything to my single mum, not because of her acceptance, but due to the person that was my father, and not about his acceptance, due to my fear of his rage against my mum and her side of her family . I had witnessed this when my older brother would get into trouble. It was always my mother’s fault, and in reality it was his fault, being absent, unreliable and so much more. To this day, i don’t think he knows that i am transgender, he did ask me once when i was 15 or 16 if i was gay, and my responce was fast and direct, “no, i know i am not gay”. I was a girl that loved boys.

“no, i know i am not gay”"

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